Imagine: you’re hanging out with some friends at a café, on your third tinto of the afternoon. Suddenly, that tinto is going through you, fast. You go to the bathroom. You empty your bladder. You look for the toilet paper. On your right, nada. On your left, an empty toilet paper holder, dusty and long-forgotten by the café staff. It doesn’t even have the rod that you can put the toilet paper on. You reach into your pocket, where we all keep our trusty backup roll, only to remember you ran out two weeks ago and still haven’t restocked.
It’s fine, you decide. You do a little wiggle, zip up your pants, and go to wash your hands. Luckily, the sink works. Unluckily, the soap dispenser is devoid of soap, and you wonder if it’s just there for show, and if it ever had soap in it at all. You walk back to your friends, hands hanging awkwardly, hoping at least one person remembered their hand sanitizer.
Why did I run you through this scenario?
Welcome to the first post of the “We Rate Bathrooms” column! Here, we — fellow PCVs and frequent restroom users — will be rating the bathrooms we visit in Colombia.
Why on Earth are we doing this?
Bathrooms in Colombia. We’ve all experienced the relief when we see a real toilet seat on the privy, and felt the dread when we must forcefully hold the door shut with our foot as we do our business. Each Colombian restroom is like a snowflake, completely unique. And for better or for worse, each one deserves some time in the spotlight! So here we are, providing a platform to showcase all the diverse bathrooms Colombia has to offer.
That’s right! Do you have an especially gnarly bathroom in your town? Or maybe your local panadería has got it all: moisturizing hand soap, a working light switch, a roll of toilet paper you can reach without contorting yourself — now that’s something to brag about! Whatever you find on your various bathroom adventures throughout service, send it our way to share (or shame, however you want to look at it) with the rest of us restroom aficionados!
So, what makes a good bathroom experience?
Well, I’m glad you asked! Here’s how we rate them:
In order to assign a score in each category, we’ll ask ourselves a number of questions, such as:
Do you have to pay?
Is there toilet paper? Does it cost extra?
Is there soap?
Does the door close? If so, does it lock?
Is there a working sink?
Is the bathroom doubling as a storage closet?
When sitting, is there room for your legs?
Can someone see you peeing?
And these are just some of the many, many things to ponder while appraising latrines.
So, without further ado-doo, let’s rate some bathrooms!
First up, a lovely little loo in Barichara, Santander:
Notes: Was there toilet paper? Yes! Was there soap? Also yes! Already, we’re off to a good start. The door even closed completely, and there was a real toilet seat for those of us who need to (or ought to) sit. However, the freshly dripping mop did detract from the overall ambiance. And while the doors were cute, it was a bit unnerving that anyone over 5’ 5’’ simply needed to stand on their tippy toes to get a full view of me and my business through those wooden bars.
Overall, I’d give this bathroom a solid 4.25/5. It’s got the necessities, but it lacks the ambience of a 5-star shitting experience.
Disclaimer: The content of this publication is generated by individual volunteers. The opinions and thoughts expressed here do not reflect any position of the United States government or the Peace Corps.